Your Soul Asking to Be Seen

Emotions are what make the human heart beat and bring color into the world. They make a person to feel alive aside from simply existing. As one processes the world around them, the emotions begin to bubble up inside. It ranges from the tingling in the feet that nudges one to jump up with joy, the excitement that makes one’s heart leap, to the anger that is fueled with passion, or the irritation that screams for attention. Sometimes, it may even be the gentle tug of sadness asking for space to simply be.  

Yet, many people do not know what to do with their emotions. They often feel like intruders who interrupt the relentless demands of life. In a culture that glorifies hustle and hurry, achievements are prioritized over time, energy, and emotional well-being. As a result, people will go at all costs to work beyond their limits to avoid being labeled “too emotional,” often equated with weakness or incompetency to complete the job. So, when the emotions gently surface, asking to be seen, they are met with irritation, quick suppression, and dismissal for its supposed trivialness.

To explore some emotions are anger, sadness, and loneliness, often labeled as ‘bad’. These emotions leave people feeling vulnerable, weak, exposed, and out of control. It is the anger that roars a rage, even startling the person who feels it. It is also the grief or sadness that feels too heavy to bear, leading to distrust in oneself that holding space for such would allow them to move on and not remain stuck. As a result, it becomes easier to fall into the illusion of control by brushing these emotions aside in order to press forward.

However, what about the emotions that seem “good,” like happiness? Yet, happiness is often choked, prevented from being fully felt or expressed due to the fear of anticipated disappointment or unexpected hurt. For others, they pull away from the warmth of happiness because deep down, they do not believe they deserve it. Some people may even project their fear of happiness by offering backhanded compliments, diminishing the significance of someone’s achievements, or listing all the anticipated challenges ahead. While those challenges may be real, they leave no space to simply embrace the moment.

All emotions are interconnected whether people would like to admit it or not. Suppressing emotions like anger and sadness trains the brain to detach from all feelings, including joy. Even when love is next door, asking to be let in, it cannot be experienced to its fullest. But is numbing, suppressing, and diminishing emotions truly the best way to live life and cope with how one feels?   

The Knocking

Emotions that are not felt are held within the body, never fully released. Some may believe these emotions have disappeared, but it is the suppression that mutes their presence on the surface while remaining stored deep within. When left unprocessed, these emotions begin to shape a person’s inner world and behavior, operating on an unconscious level. Instead of a person having control over their own emotional experiences, the unprocessed emotions weave into the fabric of how they interact with others - through emotional detachment, rigid boundaries, or strong reactions to situations that appear small or harmless.  

But, emotions must be felt. Imagine a cup that holds a certain capacity. As the cup fills, it eventually cannot take in any more, unless space is created by pouring some out. The same is true with the body. The issue is, many people get stuck. Why? Because they judge their emotions, leading to rejection and self-denial of their own reality and experiences. The judgement then makes a person feel worse, further covering up the very emotions that need to be processed. While a person may logically understand why they should move on, the body will not allow to do so until the emotions are processed in the limbic system, separate from logic being processed in the prefrontal cortex.

So yes, that is what it means to be human: to honor both sides of the complex creatures we are without confining ourselves. It is to simply be in our humanness, without judgement, offering self-compassion when falling short, and being gentle with our pains. Without holding that space, it is essentially telling yourself to stop being you. As a friend once told me, it is like telling a flower to stop being a flower. Think about it, and pause. It’s ridiculous, right?

The truth is, we all seek validation. Everyone wants to be seen, known, valued, and heard. While many turn to external validation, it is just as important to practice self-validation. The problem is that many people do not trust themselves and feel flawed for experiencing certain emotions. Hence, they search for someone on the outside to create that non-judgmental space and reassure them that it is okay.  

Often, we are too self-critical that we rely on others to quiet the noise from within us.  While there is nothing inherently wrong with seeking external validation, the deeper question remains: do we truly love and accept ourselves for who we are? Without self-acceptance, no amount of external affirmation will ever be enough. The encouragements will never seem to land because deep down, there is a part of ourselves we still struggle to embrace. Instead, the inner resistance only deepens the quiet, insatiable void that cannot be filled. But perhaps, just perhaps, the answer is not in becoming more. It is in finally knowing you are enough. 

The Power of Self-Awareness  

So, what does this actually look like in real time? When emotions come, think of them as guests. Like any guest, you would want to begin by greeting them. In the same way, you can acknowledge the emotion and ask gently what brought them in. When a need reveals itself, you as the host should offer it care and attention. Then, the emotions that have been seen and cared for can move on.  However, sometimes your guests stay longer than anticipated. But remember, this is your home. You have the right to set the boundaries and let the guests know when it is their time to leave.

For example, you may begin to notice when anxiety is creeping in, yet, you still feel stuck in it. However, there is real power in naming the feeling: “Okay, I am feeling anxious right now because of xyz. In this moment, I do not fully trust myself to navigate this.” In doing so, you are saying, I see you. I acknowledge you. Then comes the compassion: “Even though I feel uncertain, I need to remind myself that my instincts are sound, and I have navigated through difficult situations before. I can surely do it again.”

And to the deepest wounds we all hold: our trauma and triggers. Triggers can be incredibly frustrating because they stir up deep emotions that are too difficult to shake. Yet, the irony is that these triggers often arise from pain that has not been properly processed. The truth is, the pain is deeply tied to emotions that are too heavy to be felt all at once. Hence, it may feel like no amount of crying, anger, or reflection is ever enough. However, that goes to show the profoundness of the wound and how much care is actually needed.

The pain you feel is grief. So, honor it. When you shift your perspective in this way, you finally open yourself up to accepting the truth and offering yourself the comfort you have longed for.  So, mourn not only what happened, but also for the loss of what should have been, and what never came to be. Grieve the very person you miss, even though they hurt you. And acknowledge the moments when the person you needed the most were unable to show up as you had hoped for.  

So yes, grieve. Because you are worthy. Worthy of being treated with love, care, and respect. And when you do, you create the space for letting go. It is natural to feel frustrated when familiar emotions resurface from the same wound, but I promise you, it doesn’t mean you are broken or that you haven’t healed. In fact, it means you are healing. Your heart, or your cup, now has more space to finally process what it once did not have the capacity to hold.   

If you have spent years with a person who has hurt you, you have been carrying years’ worth of unprocessed emotions. Healing does not happen all at once. It unfolds in layers, over time. That’s the beauty of listening to yourself and caring for your own needs. With any emotions, you are learning to process them in a way that empowers you to grow. You are choosing how the experiences shape you, instead of allowing them to control you.

This journey is not easy. It is messy, painful, and honestly exhausting. But even in its imperfections, it reveals your strength and your capacity for healing and freedom. Think of yourself as a phoenix being raised up from the ashes, where rebirth comes from deconstruction, and strength is built from the suffering. It takes courage to face the pain; even when the path is not linear, you are still moving forward. The choice to keep going, that is your power. And no one, I mean no one can take that away from you.

To All the People Pleasers Around the World:

I see you, I promise. You were taught that your emotions and feelings were not as important as everyone else’s. You had to earn love through sacrificing your own needs just to receive care and attention. But I promise you: you. are. enough. 

You overexplain because you do not want to hurt other people’s feelings. And when you meet people who stop you mid-explanation, it doesn’t equate to rejection. It may simply mean that they do not want you to plead for respect. They already accept you, just as you are.

I know you get frustrated when you’re always trying so hard to understand others, yet you question whether they put in the same effort to understand you. It hurts when they miss the care you put into doing the emotional pre-work before ever speaking up.  

But let me tell you this: you’re distracting yourself from your own emotions by focusing on other people’s emotions. So, stop. Please stop.

The truth is, it pains you to sit with your own emotions because you are afraid of what they may reveal: that you are alone. That no one cares. And that’s the part that hurts the most.

But if that is your truth, it's okay. Accept it and allow yourself to cry. Because after the tears, you will realize that you had yourself all along. And on your own, You Are Enough.

You don’t have to be enough for the world. Just for yourself. You deserve to be loved too.

So, don’t just show up for others. Fight a war for yourself.

With Adoration,  

Arosah Ali

Cheers to 26-The Rebrand Era